I’ve been quiet lately. Partly because I’ve been travelling. Largely, because I haven’t felt like sharing. I’ve wanted to keep my life, my thoughts and my feelings to myself. I’d been feeling for a long time at a loss for words. For not knowing what I wanted. Feeling completely uninteresting, with all of my life stories being tired and well-worn. And to be perfectly honest, a little vulnerable about sharing past experiences. Previous posts about my incredibly painful loss of love have been frequented a lot recently and it’s left me uncomfortable and over-exposed. Added to that is the what seems like constant (although I realize I’m exaggerating) news of engagements, babies and new job opportunities and my feelings of inadequacy have exploded.
People preach about savoring and being thankful for everyday pleasures. For appreciating the small things in life. That’s all well and good, but sometimes you need to spike in something new and exciting to recharge you. To gather new life stories that don’t revolve around experiences in the distant past. So that you don’t feel like you peaked in high school, college or grad school. To know that you aren’t afraid of stepping out of your routine.
I’ve spent the past four weeks traveling. Simply because the opportunity presented itself. And as a single adult, I didn’t have anything preventing me. So I dropped the cats off with my friend Laura, packed my bags and gathered my passport.
First to Paris, to spend three days with one of my dearest friends. We seized the opportunity of having work obligations (myself in Germany and her in the south of France) to meet and play in the city of light. It was my first visit to Paris and we reveled in about every touristy thing you can imagine.
From Paris I took the train to Heidelberg, the most adorable, gingerbread town in Germany for a conference. It was a yet another opportunity to meet up with old friends and colleagues and nerd out about yeast genetics and evolution. To drink beer and eat pretzels and sausages.
After that I flew to Tel Aviv, where I could unpack my luggage and settle in for three weeks. My academic advisor has started a lab at the university there, so I went to offer my support and expertise to the newest and naive members of the lab. I was already halfway there, so why not? I was visiting Israel with a soon-to-be labmate and inevitably good friend.
I have new stories. That are interesting, quirky and beyond the everyday, simply because they are foreign. I am still keeping them close, holding them tight and waiting for the right moments to share. But they exist.